Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
