The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize