Only a mothe r could love this liver
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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