Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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