I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
