Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
