meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
