So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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