Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
