how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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