You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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