Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
