lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
