just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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