I looked at my own cervix.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
