If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Is it penis luge time yet?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
