Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
