HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this just has baby written all over it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
