am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
