yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
