the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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