She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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