She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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