dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
