508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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