Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
