She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
