Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
