Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
