This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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