You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
