whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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