my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
