Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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