we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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