god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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