he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
