I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
