this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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