sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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