1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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