okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
