We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
