Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
