Plan B is the new Plan A
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
