I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
