Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
