Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
