I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
