bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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