You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
