Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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