Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
