My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
