I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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