Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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