Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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