Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
