I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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