David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
