There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
as a side note pls kill me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
