I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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