I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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