We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
we should paint friendship bongs
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
