Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
