That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
