it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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