Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
